My last two weeks have been ones of personal “Grounding.” Grounding is going back to your past to help you move forward in the future.
Two weeks ago, I helped coordinate TTPA Family Weekend at my alma mater Texas Tech University Last week I spoke in St. Louis to the incredible NAWIC Midwest Region. Afterwards, my best friend from elementary school Leslie Penning and I toured our old neighborhood. I forgot how big the trees were and that some of the houses were built in the 1890’s. We remembered neighbors, students, and experiences.
Later that weekend, I returned to Dallas and Richardson to attend my @L.V. Berkner High School. There were people I hadn’t seen for decades. Later, we learned some people avoided the reunion. They didn’t feel like they were known or fit into the social groups.
I found the opposite to be true. Most of us were at an age where we just wanted to reconnect. We were thrilled to hear about each others’ families and lives. We remembered those who were no longer around to celebrate. (Even better, the bullies didn’t attend.)
A few days later, I returned to the HRSouthwest Conference. As a young employment attorney, these professionals answered practical questions and gave me better suggestions to resolve law suits. hashtag#HRSWC was one of the first conferences which allowed me to speak.
❓Have you returned to a place that helped you remember your past?
❓Where has reconnecting with others helped you in moving forward?
Grounding is used by coaches, mediators, and negotiators to tie past successes to a better future or agreement. Your history, even bad, can be used to propel you to a better future.
Coaches ask, “Where in your past as something like this situation happened? How did you deal with it?“ Or “Have you ever had an experience similar to this one where you were successful?“
You’ll see mediators revisit the history of parties using the same type of technique, “What was your relationship like when you first started this business?” Or “Can you describe when the two of you worked well together?”
Negotiators say, “We can get through this. We’ve dealt with worst in the past.” Or “We had difficulties in the past on that point. What could we do now so we don’t run into that same disruption in the future?”
Ignore that common phrase, “You can never go back.” If you are feeling stuck in a current situation or wondering about your value, consider going to a place you felt connected and grounded.
Or, find a way to make peace with the past. You might be surprised how a bad situation positively influenced your choices and future.
You get to choose how you deal with your life and how you shape your future.